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My Journey with Food

My Journey with Food

www.jodiburke.com

A fabulous Raw Food Restaurant near Tampa

 

It’s taken me a little while to write this as I truly wanted to be transparent as it hasn’t always been pretty.  For many many years I kept it quiet, hidden as much as possible as the shame, guilt and embarrassment was high.

For many years I have had a love hate affair with food – ok yes my body too – they usually go hand in hand for many women!

I only started sharing my journey a few years ago with friends and family and now after reading stats and understanding on a deeper level or programs, beliefs etc I want to come out of the closet so to speak! 🙂

When I was 15 years old I started down the path of Anorexia which then turned into Bulimia which literally ran my life for almost 10 years.

My Anorexia never hospitalized me as my weight only dropped to about 88 pads – I’m only 5’2″ and was maybe even shorter then!  At about age 16 I also got into partying and smoking pot – so on weekends I would get the ‘munchies’ so at least my weight was ok – but I was not eating healthy and living healthy by any means.

I left for college at the big age of 17 and lived with an aunt and uncle in Toronto – she was big into health and ahead of her time so I learned a lot.  My first natural path Dr visit – alternative flours, honey instead of sugar etc – this was the early ’80’.  I even became an Aerobics instructor but boy did I battle with low self esteem and Bulimia.

After a couple of years of living in TO, I moved back to my home town and became a waitress and bartender – no – there was never any partying going on there!!  Over the next few years I went back to college, moved to Banff and then Nova Scotia – still mostly in the service industry and still struggling with my eating disorder yet when I was eating ‘normal’ I ate very healthy……….talk about incoherence in my being!

It did slow down a fair bit and I realized that I cycled – it was mostly Jan to May – hence in Canada the colder, darker months – no wonder I love being in Mexico – the sun and warmth nurture my soul big time.

While in Halifax I became part of a 12 week study group out of the hospital with approx 10 women who struggled with na eating disorder – the stories were crazy yet I felt ok and not alone.

Most people then didn’t understand what having an eating disorder was truly about as there was no internet (ok I am dating myself here) and well it’s food – eating when you are hungry, stop when you are full.

www.jodiburke.com

Real Food

Yeah right, sounds easy but in reality it’s not about the food at all – it’s just the drug of choice for many women instead of drugs, alcohol, gambling and even sex.

For some reason, at the time I was not aware, yet looking back on it I understand more now, but I faded out of my cycle.  I had 2 beautiful children – who kept me busy and I never worried about weight between running after them (not quite 14 months apart) and working even part time.  I felt I had conquered it – so much so I became a Certified Raw Food Chef and wrote some recipe books.  I was still and always have been big into eating healthy.

About 12 years later, I went through a year of some hard times, almost bankruptcy, moved across the country and stayed with my parents for almost 2 months and had to start over – things were tight and I watched myself get triggered.  I knew I hadn’t really gotten over it completely.

I dove into different modalities to help – EFT being the biggest one but many as main stream counselling did not work for me.  I am not knocking it as we are all different but I only used it about half a dozen times and always left feeling way worse than when I went in and I was left hanging as well time is up and my next client is here……….

I’ve had triggers in my life since, yet I know that when we emotionally eat we are stuffing down our feelings as we don’t want to feel – it may be too painful, overwhelming, confusing, stressing or yet it’s all Emotion – Energy in motion unless we block it and push it down. Energy modalities and self love have been a huge part of the journey

Once I started or better yet stopped pushing emotions down and got in touch with more of me, I started seeing patterns and programs in my life.

You can’t explain an eating disorder to most people – as the one thing that separates out an eating disorder or emotional eating is you can’t quit cold turkey like you can alcohol and drugs – you need to eat and food is everywhere.  It’s not always an easy battle but it’s so worth it as you get to re-claim more of you.  And the world needs all you and your light.

When we choose to go down a road of addiction – it’s a program as it’s run by the mind and it’s not a healthy one (and I will post more on that) – somewhere, usually before the age of 7 as that is when all programming is done we created some story of not being good enough (and more).

While driving around Vancouver 2 years ago I heard a show on Eating Disorders – it shocked me to know that 40% of 9 year old Canadian girls were or had been on a diet……are you kidding me?? What messages are we sending our children I thought!!

Now, I am not a counsellor or Dr – yet most Dr’s don’t know how to deal with this issue – as the success rate of overcoming an eating disorder is less than 30% from going into treatment……….something on many fronts is not working.  The stats on eating disorders is scary.  I’ve had my own personal journey so I know what it’s like to be in between the fridge and the toilet – in other words deep shit – so I get it!!

Where did we get so off?

www.jodiburke.com

Doing things that feed the Soul is important

I love eating healthy, I feel better – in more ways than one especially since I have become the master over my food and more importantly my emotions (for the most part after all I am still human and have them but they don’t control me like before).  I’ve created a 21 day email program to help intercept patterns and programming – it may seem different and it is!!  This is not dealing with hard core eating disorders yet it can and work well with any program or counselling one is going through..  I know – I’ve used all the tools and tips in the program – time and again.

We have to re-program – which we can do, we have to really up our self love, we need to stop buying into the bs media advertising of you aren’t good enough the way you are and get off of the processed foods and I will explain that part why in my next post.

I am going to share things with you that are out of the box – the box sucks, is too small and conforming and most of us don’t fit in it so stop trying to fit in – you were meant to stand out and shine your light.  It just got dimmed for awhile while you developed amnesia forgetting who you truly are at a deep – Soul level.

Part of my mission here on planet earth is to help wake women up to their uniqueness, their beauty, to unplug with the I am not good enough programming in the matrix (yes it is kind of like the movie!!) and to help you see that you are worth it!!

You may think it’s hippy dippy, out there, weird, different and it is – it has to be as look around at society and the world – how’s it working for many people??

Some are asleep and will never wake up – it’s not their journey possibly this lifetime, if you are reading this chances are you are waking up and know or want a different way!

 21 Days Food & You – is about breaking free – an email a day for 21 days and more.  You may not have a break thru experience in the 21 days – it may take going through it several times – who cares – it’s your journey and the one back to self and health is different for everyone.  That is the cool thing – you can re-do it over as many times as you need – programs run deep in us.

2018 is the year to step into more of you with more self love – are you ready?

Much Love

Jodi

 

Click here to check out 21 Days Food and You!

http://evolvinghumanity.com/jodi-burke/

 

Living Thru Bondage

Living Beyond Bondage

www.jodiburke.com

Much of our Bondage is Self Talk & Programs!!

I have been working on some programs, grants and submissions recently bringing to light how many women truly are Living Beyond Bondage.

This is just the start of truly opening up, sharing my journey, my healing and how so much in our every day world creates separation – mostly within ourselves, our bodies and keeps us separate and judging one another worse though ourselves.

This is just part of a recent submission with some photos.

 

Living Beyond Bondage

www.jodiburke.com

Food is the Drug of Choice – its within us to start the change!

 

We were all born pure, innocent and full of love.

Somewhere along the line the story got distorted.

 

The drug of choice for many, especially women, is food.

 

Along with that drug often comes constant self criticizing, loathing, judging and obsessing about what one ate, didn’t eat, body size, shape and imperfections – no matter how small they may seem, it always gets distorted.

 

Yes, media, advertising, possibly parents, teachers, friends or siblings may play a role in somehow reminding us that we aren’t good enough the way we are IF we buy into it and believe it.

www.jodiburke.com

Living Beyond Bondage

It’s a disorder gone rampant, with over 91% of women disliking their bodies and themselves, many to an extreme. 80% of 13 yr old Canadian girls have been on a diet already and 95% of people with an eating disorder are between the ages of 12 – 25 yrs.

 

I know – I’ve been one of them.

The mental, emotional and often times physical bondage is excruciating – yet many hide it well from others.

Stuffing down emotions, or better yet, not feeling them at all.

We often feel alone, fragmented and on our own keeping things bottled up inside.

www.jodiburke.com

Feeling Alone, Isolated, Confused and more……..

We are caught in a vicious cycle of self depreciating, devaluing, loathing and often times self abusive – until we decide enough!!

Only 5 % of women naturally have the body type portrayed by women in the media and for which the other 91% are trying to compete, yet we continue to strive for something that truly is not the ‘norm.’

We aren’t good enough the way we are is the constant reminder.

The other 4% don’t have tv, internet or magazines and therefore  they are the free ones.

If we’re going to buy into stories, why not buy into self empowering ones?

Who truly decided what beauty is?

We all have a story to tell – we’re trying to make it a similar to one another and that is the start of the disconnect.

 

We are born and should be able to be our authentic selves and creatively express who we truly be through our gifts – not by trying to be like one another.

 

With the start of the disconnect we compare, judge, shut down and buy into someone else’s ideas of beauty and what we should look like and we start our own mantra of not being good enough.

 

Yet we are like snowflakes – each individually designed, beautiful and unique.

 

Some of us, remembering that, have broken free from that bondage – most of it being self imposed and mental self talk.

www.jodiburke.com

Breaking Free from the Bondage and Realizing it was just all me!

 

We decided that our lives weren’t about fighting our bodies, hating our bodies or ourselves or spending 95% of our time worrying about a few pounds or what we did / did not eat.

 

Cause it’s really not about food.

 

There were too many other beautiful, amazing things to see, feel, be and do in this lifetime.

 

That is the start of removing the bondage – you allow yourself to feel – ALL and reprogram the self talk.

 

The one thing that separates a food / body obsessive addiction is you have to learn to live with both, unlike most other addictions.

 

When one can truly do that – accept and love what is – then the bondage is gone and nothing is more freeing than that.

 

I know I am one of them!

www.jodiburke.com

Breaking Free from the Self Imposed Bonadage

 

Women Wanted who Want to Break Free – Raw, Naked and Beautiful Project – Real, Authentic and Whole.

www.jodiburke.com

women Breaking Free from Self Imposed Bondage & Limitation

 

Jodi Burke

Please contact me for more information, if you would like to be part of this project or wherever I am at in my travels a possible photo shoot – it’s time to make some big changes and it starts with each one of us!

xoxo

PS – My new 21 Days Food & You – Stop the Insanity is released – tools I’ve used that work to create a new reality where I am not a slave to food or my emotions!

Conscious Eating

Conscious Eating

www.jodiburke.com

Conscious Eating brings more Light into the Body!

What is Conscious Eating?

Instead of eating mindlessly, putting food into your mouth almost unconsciously, not really tasting the food you’re eating, sitting in front of the tv or computer or the phone … you notice your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You learn to pay attention to: Why you feel like eating, and what emotions or needs might be triggering the eating if it’s truly not hunger!

In todays world of over 200 ‘diets’, many products, processed foods,  fast foods, entertainment, advertising there is so much emphasis on food and body and yet health problems, obesity and eating disorders keep rising.

If you are a Vegetarian, that’s not good enough for the Vegans, if you’re a Vegan that is not good enough for the Raw Foodies and if you’re Raw then that is not good enough for the Breathatarian.

What if you’re an Emotional eater?

Food Addiction is prevalent these days – just look around.

www.jodiburke.com

Selling Coconuts in Cuba

Addiction is something that every one of us has experienced at one point or another to something!! We’re quick to point to the “big” addictions as being the obvious saboteurs in our lives, like drugs, alcohol,  smoking but what about the gradual and socially acceptable drug of choice—food?

It’s the number one killer of our bodies and thief of our joy, that causes heart attacks, obesity, diabetes, certain cancers, dementia, depression, eating disorders and so many other diseases.

Through my cycles of an eating disorder, emotional eating / not eating, becoming a Raw For Chef then letting all points of view go to come to a balance that truly works for me – I’ve learned a lot!! 🙂

This is some of what I feel I know since I cleaned up many of my emotional triggers I didn’t need to use food to fill the hole in myself that I was feeling or stuff down (over eating or binge eating) the emotions I didn’t want to feel.

That I need to eat what is right for me and my body – it’s easier to listen to it when the food is clean.  My body does well eating mostly fresh or real foods yet it goes through stages of wanting more protein and sometimes cooked foods depending on where I am – big difference between living in Mexico and Vancouver for weather!!  I enjoy what I put in my mouth – if I don’t or my body doesn’t like it I don’t eat it – I don’t care how good it is for me!!  I have cleaned up my body and taste buds so that I know the difference – not like eating highly processed foods then having a wheat grass drink and hating it – no not that way!! 🙂

Once we get rid of the highly processed foods we can actually tune into our bodies better and what they truly desire  and when not what we think we should eat.  The SAD pyramid way of eating has done a lot of damage in many ways!  As with many other diets – we need to learn to trust ourselves and what OUR body is telling us NOT diets or measurements or times!  There is nothing better than conscious eating – being conscious and doing anything  really – compare it to like sex – are you on your phone or watching tv while having sex? If so maybe it’s not the right relationship!! 🙂

www.jodiburke.com

Be Present in the Moment

When I eat I am present – no tv (I never watch the Tel LIE Vision anyways), no computer or on my phone – I have no idea then what I ate or how it tasted!

I slow down when I eat and I also try to pay attention to my conversations – if I’m upset or angry I don’t eat then.  Why? If everything is energy why take on more of that??

I try to bless my food, ask that it provide the most nutrition it can to my body and give thanks – again if everything is energy – Dr Emoto proved it with the water – Gratitude and Love – highest vibes!!  (still working on this one as I don’t always remember yet I do while creating the food in the kitchen).

Not to push my beliefs or my ways onto others – I am not in their body and I have no idea truly what is for  their highest good – I can only make suggestions to possibly wake up someone to a better or different way, a more natural or cleaner way yet with no attachment.

I’ve learned to love myself just the way I am and my body – my only regret with this one is why I didn’t do it sooner – it’s so much easier and freeing.

www.jodiburke.com

ALL Shapes, Sizes & Colors!!!

Being back on the beach here in Mexico I so love people watching – so many bodies – so many sizes, shapes and colors – many in very small bathing suits  🙂 – they obviously love themselves no matter what.  Beautiful to see!!

www.jodiburke.com

A guy dancing in the streets of Havana

Pay attention today to when you are eating, if you are truly hungry and how it all tastes – being fully present in each moment raises our consciousness big time.  When you eat it should be like a party in your mouth – live in joy, health and bliss!

Jodi

xo

PS If you are struggling with food issues or emotional eating my new 21 Days Food & You – Stop the Insanity is well worth the time and small investment on YOU!!!

www.jodiburke.com

A man in a local coffee shop in Cuba

 

Reflecting

I got up this morning in a funk, ever have one of those days??

So I headed down to the beach with my dog Spirit and sat and reflected on some things going on in my life.  Now, I don’t know if any of you believe in the spirit world or what happens after a loved one physically leaves this world, but my mom has a way of letting me know she is there for me.  She passed away a couple of years ago, at a young age to cancer.  She usually leaves good signs that she is there, like this am, when I found a piece of beach in the sun, several minutes later I looked up to a tree that sometimes has an Eagle in it, and this morning it had four.  I have never seen that before.  Maybe it wasn’t her giving me a sign, but then again maybe it was!!

One of the things I was reflecting on was my blog, as you noticed I just changed the title over, as I have this thing with food and eating healthy, always have.  Now, I really try not to be too anal, but my husband might dispute that one!!!

One of the things I have realized is that I have always had a thing with food, even when I was younger.  It wasn’t always good or healthy.  As a teenager, you go through a stage of eating lots of junk food, well, most of us anyways, I did, but then I took it beyond that.  I went through a stage of not eating, anything, otherwise known as starving myself or anorexia.  It was short lived, only about a year or so, I believe that my lowest weight was about 87 lbs, now I’m only 5ft 2, but that was still way too low.  My mom knew the signs as she had struggled with that as well, makes me wonder now if that was subconscious learned behavior??

From there, through the help of some close friends, I learned that I could eat, anything and all that I wanted without getting fat!!  I was in, little did I know at the time what path in would take me down and how it could affect my health, but I didn’t care as long as the weight didn’t come on.  You’re probably wondering the name of this diet aren’t you?? It’s called Bulimia and this is the first time I have gone totally open about it.  People know, I don’t hide it, but I’ve never put it out there and I think I should.

I share that info as I know that food, emotional eating, guilt, diet, advertising and so on are so much a part of this cultural these days.  Women are multi tasking more than ever betweens children, jobs, or being self employed, wanting to feel and look good or healthy, having the time and energy for it all.  Sometimes we meet our feelings of overwhelment, exhaustion, emptiness, feeling unappreciated or over extended or putting our needs last by filling our selves up w ith food.

The food we usually choose in those situations is comfort foods or snack foods that we just keep snacking on.  Now, I share this with no judgement as I went down that path for many, many years.  I struggled with Bulimia throughout my late teens and well into my twenties.  It was not fun alot of the time.  It mostly affected me between January and May, hmmm, do you think I could have had SAD at the same time!!??

I sometimes cycled between starving myself and binging, the mind is a powerful thing.  I share this part of me, as I wanted to be real with any of my readers, letting you know that I wasn’t always a health nut, well I was in between, but I was a fake, insecure, sneaking food junkie I guess you could say.  In between I worked out, taught Aerobics (ok yes I am dating myself there), ate fairly healthy when I was eating but oh sooooo confused and insecure inside.

I was part of several studies on women with eating disorders, so I did try and get outside help a few times as I got older as I recognized the insanity of it all.  What I have learned through it all, the most important thing, that I do matter. I am important and so are my feelings, even if it’s just to me.  That is why I choose to be nice to myself now (that and my friends still telling me I am way too hard on myself, hmmm more sub conscious programming, but I have been working on it!!!)  I am learning to trust my gut feelings on things and not question it, it’s being in the flow and being true to me.  That is what has lead me down the road of eating more raw and healthy, plus I need to make up for lost time of those years of abusing my body.  I feel the difference when I eat raw, or just way healthier and when I don’t, my body tells me that also.  I like to drink a glass or two of wine sometimes, and my body is letting me know that it just doesn’t want it anymore.  Alot of food too, which sometimes can be frustrating as it’s not that unhealthy yet it’s what my body doesn’t want right now, so I am listening.

I share this with you as I want to be honest.  I love food, I get inspired by it, I love making healthy things and when I watch Youtube videos read books of people eating healthy and feeling great, and curing diseases I get excited. As silly as that may sound and I can say I am proud now, that I traded in my Shape magazine and an unhealthy way of viewing my body and eating for one that is way healthier.  Yes, I have finally accepted that I am 5’2″ , small boned, bigger thighs and boobless!!!  I just want to feel good and enjoy the day.

So, to anyone out there that is struggling with having a good relationship with food in general, I just want to say there is hope and it can be accomplished.  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping is an amazing tool, easy to use and just love and accept yourself where you are and as you are…….you deserve it!!!

And remember, it’s a journey, today does count!!!

Thanks for stopping by

JB