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My Journey with Food

My Journey with Food

www.jodiburke.com

A fabulous Raw Food Restaurant near Tampa

 

It’s taken me a little while to write this as I truly wanted to be transparent as it hasn’t always been pretty.  For many many years I kept it quiet, hidden as much as possible as the shame, guilt and embarrassment was high.

For many years I have had a love hate affair with food – ok yes my body too – they usually go hand in hand for many women!

I only started sharing my journey a few years ago with friends and family and now after reading stats and understanding on a deeper level or programs, beliefs etc I want to come out of the closet so to speak! 🙂

When I was 15 years old I started down the path of Anorexia which then turned into Bulimia which literally ran my life for almost 10 years.

My Anorexia never hospitalized me as my weight only dropped to about 88 pads – I’m only 5’2″ and was maybe even shorter then!  At about age 16 I also got into partying and smoking pot – so on weekends I would get the ‘munchies’ so at least my weight was ok – but I was not eating healthy and living healthy by any means.

I left for college at the big age of 17 and lived with an aunt and uncle in Toronto – she was big into health and ahead of her time so I learned a lot.  My first natural path Dr visit – alternative flours, honey instead of sugar etc – this was the early ’80’.  I even became an Aerobics instructor but boy did I battle with low self esteem and Bulimia.

After a couple of years of living in TO, I moved back to my home town and became a waitress and bartender – no – there was never any partying going on there!!  Over the next few years I went back to college, moved to Banff and then Nova Scotia – still mostly in the service industry and still struggling with my eating disorder yet when I was eating ‘normal’ I ate very healthy……….talk about incoherence in my being!

It did slow down a fair bit and I realized that I cycled – it was mostly Jan to May – hence in Canada the colder, darker months – no wonder I love being in Mexico – the sun and warmth nurture my soul big time.

While in Halifax I became part of a 12 week study group out of the hospital with approx 10 women who struggled with na eating disorder – the stories were crazy yet I felt ok and not alone.

Most people then didn’t understand what having an eating disorder was truly about as there was no internet (ok I am dating myself here) and well it’s food – eating when you are hungry, stop when you are full.

www.jodiburke.com

Real Food

Yeah right, sounds easy but in reality it’s not about the food at all – it’s just the drug of choice for many women instead of drugs, alcohol, gambling and even sex.

For some reason, at the time I was not aware, yet looking back on it I understand more now, but I faded out of my cycle.  I had 2 beautiful children – who kept me busy and I never worried about weight between running after them (not quite 14 months apart) and working even part time.  I felt I had conquered it – so much so I became a Certified Raw Food Chef and wrote some recipe books.  I was still and always have been big into eating healthy.

About 12 years later, I went through a year of some hard times, almost bankruptcy, moved across the country and stayed with my parents for almost 2 months and had to start over – things were tight and I watched myself get triggered.  I knew I hadn’t really gotten over it completely.

I dove into different modalities to help – EFT being the biggest one but many as main stream counselling did not work for me.  I am not knocking it as we are all different but I only used it about half a dozen times and always left feeling way worse than when I went in and I was left hanging as well time is up and my next client is here……….

I’ve had triggers in my life since, yet I know that when we emotionally eat we are stuffing down our feelings as we don’t want to feel – it may be too painful, overwhelming, confusing, stressing or yet it’s all Emotion – Energy in motion unless we block it and push it down. Energy modalities and self love have been a huge part of the journey

Once I started or better yet stopped pushing emotions down and got in touch with more of me, I started seeing patterns and programs in my life.

You can’t explain an eating disorder to most people – as the one thing that separates out an eating disorder or emotional eating is you can’t quit cold turkey like you can alcohol and drugs – you need to eat and food is everywhere.  It’s not always an easy battle but it’s so worth it as you get to re-claim more of you.  And the world needs all you and your light.

When we choose to go down a road of addiction – it’s a program as it’s run by the mind and it’s not a healthy one (and I will post more on that) – somewhere, usually before the age of 7 as that is when all programming is done we created some story of not being good enough (and more).

While driving around Vancouver 2 years ago I heard a show on Eating Disorders – it shocked me to know that 40% of 9 year old Canadian girls were or had been on a diet……are you kidding me?? What messages are we sending our children I thought!!

Now, I am not a counsellor or Dr – yet most Dr’s don’t know how to deal with this issue – as the success rate of overcoming an eating disorder is less than 30% from going into treatment……….something on many fronts is not working.  The stats on eating disorders is scary.  I’ve had my own personal journey so I know what it’s like to be in between the fridge and the toilet – in other words deep shit – so I get it!!

Where did we get so off?

www.jodiburke.com

Doing things that feed the Soul is important

I love eating healthy, I feel better – in more ways than one especially since I have become the master over my food and more importantly my emotions (for the most part after all I am still human and have them but they don’t control me like before).  I’ve created a 21 day email program to help intercept patterns and programming – it may seem different and it is!!  This is not dealing with hard core eating disorders yet it can and work well with any program or counselling one is going through..  I know – I’ve used all the tools and tips in the program – time and again.

We have to re-program – which we can do, we have to really up our self love, we need to stop buying into the bs media advertising of you aren’t good enough the way you are and get off of the processed foods and I will explain that part why in my next post.

I am going to share things with you that are out of the box – the box sucks, is too small and conforming and most of us don’t fit in it so stop trying to fit in – you were meant to stand out and shine your light.  It just got dimmed for awhile while you developed amnesia forgetting who you truly are at a deep – Soul level.

Part of my mission here on planet earth is to help wake women up to their uniqueness, their beauty, to unplug with the I am not good enough programming in the matrix (yes it is kind of like the movie!!) and to help you see that you are worth it!!

You may think it’s hippy dippy, out there, weird, different and it is – it has to be as look around at society and the world – how’s it working for many people??

Some are asleep and will never wake up – it’s not their journey possibly this lifetime, if you are reading this chances are you are waking up and know or want a different way!

 21 Days Food & You – is about breaking free – an email a day for 21 days and more.  You may not have a break thru experience in the 21 days – it may take going through it several times – who cares – it’s your journey and the one back to self and health is different for everyone.  That is the cool thing – you can re-do it over as many times as you need – programs run deep in us.

2018 is the year to step into more of you with more self love – are you ready?

Much Love

Jodi

 

Click here to check out 21 Days Food and You!

http://evolvinghumanity.com/jodi-burke/

 

The End of a Chapter

The End of a Chapter

www.jodiburke.com

The Winding Road

 

 

After a long embrace and the tender parting of a soft kiss, holding back tears we said so long for now and I got into my car and drove away.

Just like the beginning of the drive down a road of twists and turns as it ran along side a fast running river into the mountains to climb high through the mountain pass – my emotions were dancing a similar dance.

An incredible amazing journey of four months with 11 weeks of it  travelling through 17 states and 7000 miles later my time in the USA had come to an end with an openness of when our next time was.  We had always known when the next time would be but not this time.

On top of those emotions was the Supermoon and it’s energies and an energy of one situation that was creating tension and separation.

For me personally, last week was an intense, emotional week that challenged me on many levels of my thinking, loving and being.

I realize once you go down the path of personal growth towards a higher consciousness, there is no turning back – dammit!!

It’s when in the fire I wish sometimes I could have chosen an unconscious life this time, yet at the same time I know once I move through the fire – the other side is worth every moment of the intensity!!

That is the one thing we must learn and embrace is that everything constantly changes.  That everything is Energy and Energy never sits still – it’s always in motion.  We are beings that think too much, love too little, take little responsibility for our choices and live at status quo which is mediocrity filled with much fear and worry today.

Fear and worries of who and how the new president will handle things – and I’m Canadian and we talk about this stuff!  So much fear on the news, worries about job layoffs and so on.

We are realizing the systems are broke and we can’t keep hanging onto old ways of living, feeling (or not), and being!

www.jodiburke.com

Old Abandoned House – Like some Emotions Should Be!

We are tapping into the universal collective, so when something like the supermoon comes it intensifies and if one is open to doing the work, huge growth and potential can come out of it.  It will illuminate your darkest corners, you shadow sides so that you can have a look at it and transmute it so that there is more light.  The world needs more light right now in a big way.

So don’t be afraid to go look at your stuff.  Learn how to move the energy, transmute the lower vibrations of fear, worry etc back to love.

Many ways one can do this – journalling, EFT or any modality that resonates with you.  Stop listening and watching all the fake news as that is controlled too.  Start by going inside of you – breathing, meditating, movement, journalling and listen, really listen in to what your heart is sharing with you.  Stop listening to the status quo.

Trust YOUR inner voice no matter what!

Don’t shy away from any patterns, beliefs or wounds you may have endured as we all have!

We are here or should be here to support one another through challenging times so we can raise all of ourselves into a healthier, higher collective consciousness.

I am so grateful that I had some amazing friends in my life that held the space for me this past week as I dove into my feelings – something that has never been easy for me.  One of the major things with an eating disorder is not wanting to feel – not wanting to be in the body as life has been painful, so we stuff it down, those feelings with food as a distractor.

www.jodiburke.com

From the Darkness and Clouds emerges the Light

 

All negative feelings and emotions just want to be seen so that they can leave and once you do it and keep doing it, it’s incredible how much lighter, freer and more joyful you can become.

So honour where you are at, ask for help, journal, take a hot bath, go for a walk in nature, ok I’ll be honest – I stomped through the rainforest dropping some F bombs 🙂 whatever works (as long as it doesn’t hurt you or someone else) – breath deep, cry and most of all don’t judge yourself, allow yourself the time to move thru this.

Remember, if you are too busy to do it when an emotion comes up and you keep surpressing them, then it will manifest in the body as some sort of pain or disease – remember – we are energy, the body, mind and soul ARE connected and we are in the dense third dimension but we can become much lighter!!

Since moving through some of that dark energy I will call it or intense feelings I have come out with more clarity, more self awareness and love as I embark on this new chapter in my life.

Great many things will be happening and I can’t wait to post and photograph them!!

That my friend is part of Vibrant Living!!

Thanks for stopping by

Jodi

xo

www.jodiburke.com

Going Within – No matter what!

 

EFT, Food & U

EFT, Food & U

If you are not familiar with EFT, it’s not short for Electronic Funds Transfer…..it’s short for Emotional Freedom Technique or otherwise known as Tapping.

I believe that EFT is an amazing tool to help anyone overcome many things that may be holding them back.

It’s energy physchology which is not new but it is to so many of us. Science, Quantum Physics and backing this more than ever now.

Energy is everywhere and we many not be able to see it, but often we feel it or sense it.  Many times we don’t listen to it when our bodies are telling us no, as our heads get in the way.  It is like electricity, we don’t have to see it for it to work, or even believe it it is there and does it’s thing…….just like energy.

EFT is a simple way is pshychological acupressure.  One taps on varies acupressure points while focusing on the thought, feeling, memory that is leaving a person feel anything but good.

In this short video I share some ideas of using EFT when one is struggling with some food issues as overweight and emotional eating are at an all time high.  I speak from experience of my days of disordered eating.

To learn EFT or understand it more, or have the tapping points, you can download a copy of my EFT Manual which I highly recommend.

Any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me.

And as always please feel free to share this with any friends or leave a comment.

Have a beautiful day!!

JB

It’s Time to Thrive…..

What does Thrive or thriving mean to you and do you feel you are doing it??

Dictionnary definition of thriving – to prosper; be fortunate or successful. To grow or develop vigorously; flourish

I guess you could relate that to nature, if it’s not growing, it’s decaying or dying or barely surviving.

What does thriving mean to you? Have you ever given it some thought before?

Thriving to me means being able to do what really gets me going, jazzes me, gets me fired up, speaks to me, you know when you love what you are doing and the time passes quickly.  It means having choices therefore being able to create new experiences, go to new places, do new things.  To me it means having more money than month and paying all my bills easily and consistenly.

Thriving to me means letting go of the negative self talk, the need to find comfort from food or other things.

It means being lost in the moment and seeing the beauty all around me like when the sun sets and sh*t I forgot my camera……again!!

It means watching my kids grow up and know they’re going to be ok as they’re pretty cool teenagers.

It means making great dishes and sitting around with great friends creating great memories.

I could go on……

Thriving is so much fun instead of surviving.

It’s being you and sometimes standing out from the rest of the crowd.

EFT is a great tool to help you move over, if that is what you want to do.  Of course interrupting patterns and creating new habits is a good thing too, ones that you love to do or empower you or leave you feeling……well like you’er thriving!!!

What are your thoughts on that??

JBC

Creating a New Story…..

Have you ever thought to yourself I can create a new story??
How often do you hear yourself saying…..

‘I can’t do that’ (fill in that with whatever it is)
‘That’s too hard’
‘Even if I look at_______ I gain 5 pounds.’
‘I wouldn’t know what to say.’
‘It’s in my genes (or nature).’
‘I don’t know many people.’
‘I could never do that or do what you do.’
‘You have to have money to make money.’
‘I can never get ahead.’
‘Oh I’m too old…….

and so on, you probably get the idea.
I held on to quite a few limiting beliefs for a long time, they were my story, I was used to being a victim.

Then someone asked me one day, one of my mentors…….’How is that serving you?’
Of course I snapped back……’Well it’s not!!’
‘Well it must be as you keep repeating the same things. The things that keep you stuck, doing, thinking and being the same thing yet you want change?’

That got me…..and as much as I hated to admit it…..I was creating all the crap in my life.
I started telling a different story, a more empowering one,  and the more I told it the easier it got and the more things started shifting in my life.

I stopped focusing on what is and started focusing on the direction I wanted and was going in and didn’t let the past hold me back any longer.

I told a different story of how I wanted things to be and I gave up being the victim.

What about you, where could you start telling a different story in life today??

Feel free to share your thoughts on that below

Expect the best!!!
JBC

Letting Go

 

 

Letting Go

Ahhhh summer is officially here…..finally!!!  How was your long weekend?? Ours was great.  I hope you really enjoyed yourself as that is what life is about each and every day.

How many of you went camping or to family gatherings, picnics, beaches, etc?  Usually on these long weekends, especially when the weather is nice and we can be outside we are eating things we don’t normally eat…..potato salad, macaroni salads, burgers, hot dogs, and so on…….I hope you did and I hope you enjoyed it.

Really I do!!!!

I also hope that you are not feeling guilty over what you ate, didn’t eat, drank or should have eaten.  Life is too short for that.  Don’t get me wrong, I always encourage to eat healthy, but here’s how I look at it, we are only here for a little while, we have to have some fun along the way too, if that means you’re at a family picnic or gathering as an example where you know the food won’t be the best, you have a couple of options……take something that is healthy and eat more of that, or relax and go with the flow for the time being.  Not saying you should do that every day or all the time, but once in awhile is more than ok.

Remember our thoughts are powerful.  If you are feeling guilty, or beating yourself up over what you did eat or what you should have eaten instead……you are doing more damage to yourself.  It’s over with, let it go.   Make better choices next time.  How can you do that? By loving yourself anyways, right here and now, making a better choice today, that with each today and tomorrow will only get better if that is what you focus on.  If you keep focusing on what you should have done, or feeling guilty or beating yourself up, you will probably always come up short handed.

Acknowledge the good things no matter how small they are in what you are doing and who you are.  They can only then get bigger and better.

Also, EFT is a great tool for letting go of those negative,unwanted emotions, which stem from our thoughts.  Whether that be with dealing with eating, ourselves, life or business.

Change a thought, change alot……….  love to hear your thoughts below……..make it  a great day!!!

JBC

EFT, FOOD & YOU

EFT, Food & You

We have come along way since the days of the Hunters / Gatherer’s way of eating.  Food is everywhere and part of everything today.  So much of what we really call food is not even close to what real food is, especially here in North America.  Food & emotional eating and addiction to food have become a way of life for many, and it’s usually not a healthy way.  Not only do I speak from experience, but look around us there is evidence everywhere, obesity, diabetes, heart disease and so on.  I won’t even get into the cost of food in this post!!!

When one has a struggle with food whether it be restriction, emotional eating, binge eating, over eating,  or even addiction to certain foods that one really wants to let go of, there are usually emotional reasons behind these ways of being.  I can only speak for myself, but when I was struggling to have a somewhat ‘normal’ relationship with food, I lacked self confidence, never felt good enough, was very self critical, couldn’t love myself, so how could I love anyone else?  Was always comparing myself to other women and of course would come up short, so what did I do often………..I turned to food for comfort, so I couldn’t feel the pain or acknowledge it, so I would stuff it down, which could keep me busy often for hours, so I also didn’t have to look at my life or participate in it………..

Many things changed over the years for me to have a better or normal (what is normal for me, and we all I believe have a somewhat different normal for ourselves) or healthy relationship with food.  Deciding I wanted to, deciding I wanted to live life and enjoy it, not have my head stuck in a fridge or toilet, wanting to enjoy and taste food, having kids and doing some inner work, finding peace within myself.  Learning to accept myself – warts and all, learning to let go of judgement, seeing the good in me and what I could do instead of what I couldn’t do, so I could see the good in others.  And finally, loving myself……plain and simple.  EFT / Tapping comes in very handy for all of those things, that is why I love this tool so much.

I tapped on  –  Never being good enough, feeling less than, not having confidence, not being good enough (yup sometimes a 1 word change can make a big difference or knock down the problem completely), using food for comfort, hating myself, hating my body, being short, having small breasts, short legs, scared of talking in public, putting myself out there, what will people think of me, to being strong enough, who was I to think I could……, eating too much, eating too little, having no control around food, wanting to eat more, having no self control, no will power, can’t stand up for myself and well I could go on……….but you probably get the idea.

When I was first introduced to EFT through a weekend workshop, I worked on not being good enough…….which is fairly general, but we got it down to a zero intensity and it started at a 10, which is the highest.  Well, with one word change to never being good enough, I was back at a 10………I couldn’t believe it, but we got that down to a zero, then got a little more focused, like where and when do I not or never feel good enough………so if anyone is using food a crutch or a comfort for not feeling some emotions, this really is one of the easiest and best tools to use.  Now, sometimes, you will need or benefit from using a therapist or someone who specializes using tools like this to really get down to the core issues and dissolving them faster.

Food is to nourish our bodies, but our minds and spirits too.  Food should be used to feed our bodies and be our medicine as often as possible.  It is more for enjoyment and entertainment these days, but also highly abused.  When we can let go of emotions that aren’t serving us not only can we start having a better relationship with food but ourselves as well.

When I first got into Raw Foods, again I got a little too narrow minded, hell I got a fair bit anal……..I now know and realize that most people won’t or can’t eat this way even 60% of the time, and I didn’t want to eat like this 90 or 100% of the time, even though I know the health benefits, I am not sure if one needs to be 100%, plus I didn’t want the pressure or it.  I like being balanced and having some flexibility, when I was too narrow minded about having to be raw, it took a toll on me and my relationship, and that is not healthy either.  Anyone who swings too far one way, I feel isn’t healthy either.  (so in case you are wondering why I changed the title of my blog, that is a big part of it).

You were born a beautiful spiritual being here to have a human experience, so I believe, and we should make it the best one and why not start today!!!

You can download a FREE copy of my EFT manual to learn how to do it, and the FREE  Tapping Summit starts today as well.

Make it Your BEST DAY EVER!!

JB

EFT / Tapping

EFT / Tapping FREE on line Summit

Tapping World Summit 2011

If you are new to the world and benefits of EFT, then I highly recommend learning from the best. This is a FREE on line event. I love EFT, using it, sharing it and it can benefit anyone with anything with the results being permanent!!
EFT works well for food cravings, addictions, emotional eating and things related to eating and being healthier.
So, I highly recommend checking it out. If you are new to EFT, you can download my FREE manual here to help you get started Tapping!!!

Have a great day!!
JB

Day 3 How to Use EFT During the Holidays

Welcome to Day 3 of The 12 Days of Christmas Giveaways!!!

Day 2’s winner was Angela Rae……..congratulations and I will be in touch!!

Download the EFT manual here

To be entered in the giveaway, leave a comment below on what you could use EFT for or what you have used it for.  Deadline is Monday night 10 pm PST and then we will pick a winner and announce in Day 4.

Healthy Thoughts

As much as I believe in healthy eating and food, I also believe in healthy thoughts or attitudes.  Now, I will admit up front I don’t always have the healthiest of attitudes all of the t ime.  I am learning though, for me, that when I eat really healthy, get exercise, enough sleep and eliminate toxins to my system like caffeine, alcohol and negative thoughts, my attitude is high on life, and when I don’t do those simple little things, it sucks!!

I am also noticing (even though it has taken me awhile!!) that I can be brought down or sucked in to other people’s stuff.  By that I mean victim hood, addictions, negativity and so on.  I am a rather trusting person and like to believe people are good, but I do get sucked into their stories of why their lives suck and how people take advantage of them or how they have all these health problems so that is why they have to eat and drink the way they do, or they keep smoking or whatever else is going on.

I was with some people last night, and we were enjoying a nice evening out in the beautiful weather we are having, but as the night went on, a few people got out of control with things, not major but for my comfort of how I want to be.   What I realized for myself then was I was not surrounding myself with positive, upbeat healthy people.  Now, I don’t mean to place judgement here, I like all people. But when there is whining and complaining about how unfair life is and I need to drink because of it and use the ‘f’ word like it was an adjective, then I start to get bothered by it.  What I have though is a tendency to  get mad at myself and put myself down for trusting or falling for it and allowing myself to get sucked in.

That’s what I did and I woke up mad at myself, frustrated and also feeling down.  I am learning to be nicer to myself, instead of keeping this going, I asked myself how do I want to feel?  Well, a hell of alot better than now, that is for sure!!.  I am also learning that I am sensitive to others or empathetic and I have to  protect myself, which I don’t always do.  EFT – is the next best choice.  I can tap on what I am feeling when it’s in the negative and then like Tony Robbins always says, ‘Change your state’.  In other words, go for a walk or a run, or try something that will change how you are feeling…….like by asking myself ‘How do I want to feel?’……..so then I start by feeling that feeling, which is usually happy, joy and empowered and I breath it in and expand it……..it starts in my stomach and I keep focusing on it for a few minutes till it overrides the other crappy feelings.

It has taken me awhile to do and use this even though I have known all along………the way you feel is everything!!!!

We put words to describe how we are feeling……..love, hate, happy sad, confident, scared etc but really what is happening is a chemical reaction going on inside of the body…….that is why EFT works, it helps release the negative energy and changing your state works, it changes the chemicals inside.

I just wanted to share that with you as much as I fall back sometimes I am jumping back up much faster as I have these tools and the ability to think, create and attract good things.  I think we have these little tests just to help us stay on track!

As the Universe says………’Thoughts become things so choose the good ones!!!’ It is so  much easier when you know you have choice and control over your thoughts!

Love to hear your thoughts………..

JB

Reflecting

I got up this morning in a funk, ever have one of those days??

So I headed down to the beach with my dog Spirit and sat and reflected on some things going on in my life.  Now, I don’t know if any of you believe in the spirit world or what happens after a loved one physically leaves this world, but my mom has a way of letting me know she is there for me.  She passed away a couple of years ago, at a young age to cancer.  She usually leaves good signs that she is there, like this am, when I found a piece of beach in the sun, several minutes later I looked up to a tree that sometimes has an Eagle in it, and this morning it had four.  I have never seen that before.  Maybe it wasn’t her giving me a sign, but then again maybe it was!!

One of the things I was reflecting on was my blog, as you noticed I just changed the title over, as I have this thing with food and eating healthy, always have.  Now, I really try not to be too anal, but my husband might dispute that one!!!

One of the things I have realized is that I have always had a thing with food, even when I was younger.  It wasn’t always good or healthy.  As a teenager, you go through a stage of eating lots of junk food, well, most of us anyways, I did, but then I took it beyond that.  I went through a stage of not eating, anything, otherwise known as starving myself or anorexia.  It was short lived, only about a year or so, I believe that my lowest weight was about 87 lbs, now I’m only 5ft 2, but that was still way too low.  My mom knew the signs as she had struggled with that as well, makes me wonder now if that was subconscious learned behavior??

From there, through the help of some close friends, I learned that I could eat, anything and all that I wanted without getting fat!!  I was in, little did I know at the time what path in would take me down and how it could affect my health, but I didn’t care as long as the weight didn’t come on.  You’re probably wondering the name of this diet aren’t you?? It’s called Bulimia and this is the first time I have gone totally open about it.  People know, I don’t hide it, but I’ve never put it out there and I think I should.

I share that info as I know that food, emotional eating, guilt, diet, advertising and so on are so much a part of this cultural these days.  Women are multi tasking more than ever betweens children, jobs, or being self employed, wanting to feel and look good or healthy, having the time and energy for it all.  Sometimes we meet our feelings of overwhelment, exhaustion, emptiness, feeling unappreciated or over extended or putting our needs last by filling our selves up w ith food.

The food we usually choose in those situations is comfort foods or snack foods that we just keep snacking on.  Now, I share this with no judgement as I went down that path for many, many years.  I struggled with Bulimia throughout my late teens and well into my twenties.  It was not fun alot of the time.  It mostly affected me between January and May, hmmm, do you think I could have had SAD at the same time!!??

I sometimes cycled between starving myself and binging, the mind is a powerful thing.  I share this part of me, as I wanted to be real with any of my readers, letting you know that I wasn’t always a health nut, well I was in between, but I was a fake, insecure, sneaking food junkie I guess you could say.  In between I worked out, taught Aerobics (ok yes I am dating myself there), ate fairly healthy when I was eating but oh sooooo confused and insecure inside.

I was part of several studies on women with eating disorders, so I did try and get outside help a few times as I got older as I recognized the insanity of it all.  What I have learned through it all, the most important thing, that I do matter. I am important and so are my feelings, even if it’s just to me.  That is why I choose to be nice to myself now (that and my friends still telling me I am way too hard on myself, hmmm more sub conscious programming, but I have been working on it!!!)  I am learning to trust my gut feelings on things and not question it, it’s being in the flow and being true to me.  That is what has lead me down the road of eating more raw and healthy, plus I need to make up for lost time of those years of abusing my body.  I feel the difference when I eat raw, or just way healthier and when I don’t, my body tells me that also.  I like to drink a glass or two of wine sometimes, and my body is letting me know that it just doesn’t want it anymore.  Alot of food too, which sometimes can be frustrating as it’s not that unhealthy yet it’s what my body doesn’t want right now, so I am listening.

I share this with you as I want to be honest.  I love food, I get inspired by it, I love making healthy things and when I watch Youtube videos read books of people eating healthy and feeling great, and curing diseases I get excited. As silly as that may sound and I can say I am proud now, that I traded in my Shape magazine and an unhealthy way of viewing my body and eating for one that is way healthier.  Yes, I have finally accepted that I am 5’2″ , small boned, bigger thighs and boobless!!!  I just want to feel good and enjoy the day.

So, to anyone out there that is struggling with having a good relationship with food in general, I just want to say there is hope and it can be accomplished.  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or Tapping is an amazing tool, easy to use and just love and accept yourself where you are and as you are…….you deserve it!!!

And remember, it’s a journey, today does count!!!

Thanks for stopping by

JB